Last night as we sat for dinner, I realized with a quickly sinking heart that things aren’t perfect between us anymore. I sat there looking at your face, distorted with a mixture of sadness and exhaustion and I saw rather suddenly the first cracks in our perfect relationship, staring me in my face. I felt sad and scared. These past few years with you have been the greatest adventure of my life. The love you’ve given me has surpassed anything else I have ever felt before, and now I feel I like silence is muffling us. I feel like slowly time and waiting is chipping us off at the edges.
As the evening progressed, I reclaimed us and I felt myself giving in and bravely shared with you things I believed would ‘set you off’ and Instead you received them with a solemn smile. I was filled with hope, we can be friends again. Make jokes at the broken pieces of our grand plans and make new ones, look for something extraordinary in this world again and find it in each other. Love more than we know how to. And be each others. It can happen. It will happen.
I have to confess, when I saw those first cracks in our relationship staring at us, I couldn’t help but feel defeated and lost. But then I thought, that cracks don’t mean we’re broken, it means we were put to test (a whole lot of them actually) and we did not fall apart. And I suddenly knew in my heart, we never will.