I was lost for a while until I find myself with a man with skin as dark as the night and eyes in which linger large unknowable shadows of things he will never say.
I cannot stop staring at the dance of his long yet delicate fingers as they trail my bare torso, my skin looking clumsy in its fairness against his mahogany smoothness.
A man who can talk me into peals of laughter so dense that it is hard to tell where they start and where they end.
That is what I drew me here.
To see myself from his eyes again.
The way he can speak without taking a breath and how his talks go into tangents that spread out their warm arms around us and takes us into an embrace that melts the years that have passed since we last met.
The way he held me closer and tighter when I played him a track he couldn’t believe I still had. A track that always reminded me of him. And he confessed that no matter the years that have distanced us from the freshness of our old romance, some songs still make him think of me.
For his delicious restraint as he waits and makes me wait for too many tormenting minutes before allowing the dams to burst.
The way he refuses to switch off the lights because he needs to see me in absolute detail as he unwraps me like an anticipated present.
The way his lips meld into mine and I feel him slowly sucking out the heaviness that I did not know how to shed.
To experience the way he makes kissing and worshipping merge into one thing as he devours my breasts.
The way his mouth leave a warm trail on the sensitive insides of my thighs and I feel sweet explosions at the base of my spine.
The faraway look in his eyes the morning after as he lists down the moles and scars on my body, rearranging them in his head to form a story.
When I talk about what lies in my heart to him, when I sketch the wayward lines of my life to share with him, I see myself in a new light as I see the people I take for granted, the people I love and in the sharing I see the light.
And for the first time the pieces of begin to form a larger picture of strange beauty.
To learn the newness in an old lover and in the learning just for a while drift from being the usual me.
Finding a dark escape that now makes coming back home seem a lot sweeter than before.