Dear 30 year old self,
So the big day is finally here. As I write this, it is our twenty-fifth birthday and if all goes according to plan (which I know it mostly doesn’t, still one hopes) you are reading this on our thirtieth. The day has just started so can’t really tell you right now how good or bad it is going to be but I sure am glad I am writing to you because it feels like it would have been great to receive a letter from my twenty year old self today.
Life is good. You have been brave this year, took a decision to relieve yourself of your daily miseries and moved out. It is been a month since you live independently and all I can say is that God has been really kind. I hope on your thirtieth as well, you have something to be proud of, you maintain your sense of courage amidst all the adversities. And mostly I hope that life for you is still good.
At the centre of this letter is my wish that you are able to see clearly how far you’ve come. That you are able to remember and relieve what it was like to be twenty five and that you are able to give yourself credit for fulfilling your dreams. This is my long list of hopes for you:
I hope you still feel the affection of loved ones, flowing freely and strongly towards you, keeping you afloat.
I hope you’ve learned more lessons at lesser prices than we’ve already paid.
I hope you continue to find love and happiness in that one person who forms the centre of your existence today. I hope that with that one person, you’ve made a life and a family. And if for some unforeseen reason, this is not to be, I hope you’ve emerged stronger yet grateful because God knows he has loved me more than I could ever be loved.
I hope you’ve found joy, meaning and fulfilment in work.
I hope you still call yourself a writer and that you’ve written as much as your heart wished to.
I hope you’ve found time and money and courage to see the world like we always wanted to.
I hope you become a better person than I am today. More patient. More forgiving. More generous (this I hope to learn from I). More compassionate first towards yourself so you can feel most compassionate with every other fellow human being. I know I am really hard on myself sometimes, but I hope as you read this, you feel that we’ve overcome that personal obstacle.
I hope you are a mother, or are soon hoping to be because in spite of all the sarcasm and jokes I crack at the poor plight of parenthood, I know and hope that you remember that being a parent will be the best thing we do in this world. And also so that from lovers we become family and we both can finally have a family that we belong to and love.
I hope you’ve found it in your heart to forgive those who have made life difficult and have hurt you. I know I haven’t yet but I hope unlike me, you travel light and free of grudges.
I hope that you continue to fulfil your personal dreams and wishes by working hard and by fair means.
And most importantly I hope you continue to find new dreams and look forward to the future as much as I look forward to it.