The wind has been chilly lately and I haven’t been sleeping too well. We walk huddled together against the breeze. A thousand thoughts flood me as we walk, your hand gripping me tightly. Your eyes are searching mine with a mute freneticism. Your eyebrows jump up with questions. You’re afraid of the places my mind saunters off to when left alone.
I think of a night like this many months ago, when you were drunk and vulnerable and held out your heart to me asking for nothing in return. And I think of the first date when you leaned in to kiss me as if it was the most natural thing and I can still taste the tanginess in your breath. I didn’t know it then but we were playing out a larger scheme.
Now, here we are a couple of years after, in love like never before. Yet there are unspoken pieces of our yesterday that lurk behind us and watch us as we walk past.
I haven’t been sleeping too well lately.
I think and it all begins. The future stretches out like a blank canvas before me. Life is long, long enough for love to fade.
And maybe there will come a night that we won’t be able to find any words. A night we can’t spend together alone without a little intoxication to make each other’s company bearable.
Or maybe fate will play the villain and death will come, sooner than we’d be ready to accept and one of us will be left behind, a lost half, full with phantom sensations of the other.
Or maybe we will live long and healthy lives, so healthy that our hearts will seek greener pastures and one day we will just stroll off and never return or worse, stay, though our hearts lie elsewhere.
I look over to your side to memorize the look on your face and your tenderness touches me as you hand me the cigarette we share. Once again you presence is enough to calm my frayed nerves.
Whatever will be our future my love, I have this night with me that I shall keep safe in my memories.
This night that didn’t need too many words.
This night that love felt whole and I felt I had everything I’ll ever need.
This night of unending kisses and stolen swigs of vodka.
This night that we were free and untainted.
This night that is still young and full of possibilities, like us.
This night when it was just us.