As the day drags to an end and tiredness wins over energy, I attempt to rejuvenate with a warm bath.
Enclosed in a box- body and mind.
Trapped in the confines of where I ‘ought’ to be. My mind crosses lines rebelliously.
As I feel the water from the shower slipping down my body- caressing lovingly or running away from me?
Feelings appear, linger, and flow away.
The white noise sings in my ears all those taboo-ish things.
I feign ignorance.
Courage comes alive armed with past memories. And scenes from the times gone by enfold in my mind, bits of conversations I had nearly forgotten I had.
The number of instances- I never kept track.
It’s been a long time since that girlish cold infected my heart.
Quickening of the heartbeats, hands icy cold.
A throbbing party in my tummy- Butterflies and elephants and all other creatures.
My eyes wander to the cause of all these symptoms.
Oblivious he sits immune I think?
It could be in the air, its monsoon after all synonymous with romance and all lesser entities.
The best time to suffer…err enjoy these rushes and crushes?
Worry crinkles my forehead… Is it visible already?
Nervousness and uncertainty get the better of me.
A look into his eyes and relief greets me sweetly… he has not a clue.
Or so I think?
As he rushes thru my mind the innocence of it all tickles me.
A smile sneaks up on me.
It’s been quite a while I’ve humored stray feelings.
Whilst younger and lesser in experience seldom did our motiveless feelings pass thru the sieve of judgment?
Good at least my heart never ceases to be a little girl.